Empty Pockets, Full Heart

 

I was talking with a dear friend the other day, and the twin topics of money and emotions came up. Don't they always?

 

The conversation had been sparked by the sad events of that day, in which she had taken her ancient cat, Old Paw, the great-grandfather of the neighborhood, to the vets for the last time. His nine-life warranty had been used up, and his body could no longer sustain him in this realm.

 

After talking for a while about her memories of him, she started talking about how much money she had spent over the years on the stray cats and dogs she'd adopted. Added together, it amounted to a significant amount of money.

 

In the past, she would never have introduced the topic of money into an emotional conversation, but over the last few years, her profession has taken quite a hit, and then worsened with the impact of 9/11 and the ensuing economic downturn. Until then, the amounts she had spent caring for orphaned animals were irrelevant.

 

She told me about a recent conversation she'd had with her brother. When the subject of the cost of her largesse to her four-footed-family had come up, he said, "Sis, your pockets may be a little empty but your heart is very full because of what you do."

 

Yup!

 

I asked her if she had known what was going to eventually happen with her finances, would it have altered anything she had done with the animals.

 

Nope!

 

Some people collect stray dogs and cats, and build a home and a life for them. They follow the dictum of that bumper sticker you've seen over the past few years - Practice Random Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty.

 

Others collect two-legged strays, and help them get back on their feet and have valuable lives. There are costs associated with helping people too. But those who do that, like those who help animals, are rewarded by their own emotional satisfaction at having been willing and able to do so.

 

Maybe the most important part of my friend's story is her one-word answer about whether money, or the lack of it, would have influenced what she did. We talked about that for a while, and she revealed the fact that there was no way she could walk away from an abandoned animal. It just wasn't in her nature.

 

So much of the action of grief recovery is aimed at helping people discover what it is their nature to be, and helping them not be in conflict with it anymore.

 

You don't necessarily have to collect stray animals or people, but you do need to be in harmony with your own nature. Then you too can have a full heart.

 

Oh - there's nothing wrong with having full pockets and a full heart.  

     

By Russell Friedman

John W. James and Russell Friedman are co-founders of The Grief Recovery Institute Educational Foundation, and co-authors of The Grief Recovery Handbook and When Children Grieve, both from HarperCollins. The Institute and thousands of affiliates throughout the United States and Canada offer a variety of programs for grievers. Additional information is available by calling 888-773-2683 or on the web at www.grief.net . To view previous media related articles please go to www.grief.net/Media/MediaIndex.html . Eric Cline is Director of Canadian Operations.